How much can grhastas preach?

The best preaching a grhasta can do is to serve by his example. Chastity is a rare commodity in Kali Yuga and a powerful preaching asset.

Coming from a generation of devotees where very little difference was made between grhasta and a sannyasi when it came to preaching, later on a hybrid manifested, unknown in vedic literature, which could be designated as "grhasta sannyas". It’s true, this designation is totally concocted as much concocted is the concept of a grhasta being able to preach to the same degree as a brahmacary or sannyasi can do or should do.

Naturally grhasta ashrama is loaded with responsibilities not relevant to a sannyasi or a brahmacary. It is a privilege to belong to a generation where grhastas were preaching fiercely, burning with the desire to make Srila Prabhupada proud of His movement, grhastas who started up whole yatras, like the English one, grhastas who inspired Srila Prabhupada to say that “actually my spiritual master was preaching mainly through sannyasis and brahmacaries. I am preaching through grhastas.”

I myself, even finally recognizing the need to get married, still clearly refused to have a child. As my wife initially seemed to agree, we had wonderful time while preaching together, (14 years), … until I had to pay my price as well. I have no regret to have now a fifteen years old daughter, even considering my age and the age of my wife, it is an absurd situation we have to face in the late portion of our lives. But seeing my service being accounted for, I have no regret.

Still, considering the new generations of grhastas arriving, I wonder if they also have to pay the same price I had to. Can we follow Srila Prabhupada as well, leave our families behind and dedicate our life to preaching entirely? Certainly. . if we can liberate the whole world as He did. Can we? Well, to the degree we cannot, better we consider our duties as grhastas. This is an individual choice every grhasta has to make. If lucky, he or she may find an experienced guide on the way. These are very serious decisions, affecting our lives severely.

There are many reasons leading to destruction of the marriage institution, premature understanding of oneself to be a full time preacher may be one of them. Just recently I saw a wonderful grhasta couple, totally dedicated to preaching, until the point the wife walked out the door. Of course, if embarrassing senses gratification and a life beyond the regulative principles, not much can be done. But what about if she wasn’t and is a devotee who simply couldn’t take it anymore to be viewed as a burden of her husband while he was heading from one preaching destination to another? What about if she was too embarrassed to agree that her conditioning dictated certain life and the conditioning of her husband didn’t? What if her husband, now unprotected, will finally find himself in midst of his preaching falling victim for another supposedly eagerly listening women who seems to be a "better preaching partner" as the last one? What about if she eventually also drops out of the preaching team? What about if this understanding of spreading Srila Prabhupada’s mission leads to a creation of a whole generation of desperate women and men who tried to live like sannyasis , but were not purified enough to sustain this life style? After all, there is no a "grhasta-sannyasi ashrama" as much there is no "sannyasi-grhasta ashrama" either. (Better not to comment on the second alternative :-) 

How will public ever respect a preaching renunciation who left in his path one or maybe few more desperate women behind? And so the lesson of the day is simple: To become a grhasta means to pay the price of purification which may come in form of children and an aging wife or aging husband. One should take it all as one package, delivered by the Supreme Lord to those who have to learn by experience since they couldn’t learn sufficiently by hearing. Both processes of learning are valid if done properly, one takes longer as the other. The main objective is to reach the goal: purification from material desires.

Anyone who declares himself or herself prematurely to be purified by dint of their mental adjustment only, will have to pay the price soon or later, as material nature ultimately doesn’t allow such hypocrisy. The warnings delivered by sastra are plenty and very vivid.

Despite all the delayed timings in my life, I am eternally thankful to Srila Prabhupada for being the part of the early pioneering days of His ISKCON. Ending living in financial tensity for the remaining days of my life, trying to take care of my daughter in an age I should be the retired grandfather of her children and not euro and dollar seeking father, is a small price to be paid for the ecstasy of all these days being spent in book distribution and active preaching. Not many can say they had such a wonderful life.

That I didn’t enjoy the benefit of growing up in Vedic society and joined by the time boys in vedic times get married, that I got married by the time the very same men become fathers, that I became a father in an age the very same fathers become grandfathers… all this is compensated by Srila Prabhupada’s mercy and the wonderful feeling to have done something in this life time which was worth of living.

Still, I don’t see myself to be honest by recommending young grhastas to ignore their ashrama and join preaching on the scale of a full time renunciation. Finding themselves being bereft of wives, or wives being bereft of husbands, they only increase the danger to be hit by illusion while operating in an unprotected environment. As much the path of grhasta ashrama may be covered by thorns, these thorns are of purifying nature, curing our inherent sentimentality while bringing us to the real understanding of the nature of this world.